365/100 ....the end.

My cousin Traci and I practically grew up together...well, sort of. We met in 1983. I was 9 and Traci was 11. We became cousins when my father married her Aunt Barb, and although we technically are not blood cousins, for Traci and I that didn't matter. We celebrated birthdays together (hers was the day before mine), we cooked (or whatever you want to call it) together, we laughed together, we spent holiday after holiday in each others rooms sharing stories and laughs.

Traci graduated from high school two years before I did. That didn't stop us from keeping in touch. From the letters from her year in Spain, to flowers on special occasions, to holiday visits, we always stayed close. It was almost like we were the sisters that neither of us had and I am SO thankful for it.

As we got older we always remained close...we shared so much, and sometimes we shared even more than we wished we had to...including fertility issues we both shared to different extents. We cried together when things didn't happen as we wanted. We counted the blessings we shared in our boys. We got each other through hard times and laughed at the crazy things we did in good times.

Last year I had the honor of walking in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer together in DC and then strengthened our relationship even more.

Just a couple of months ago, after YEARS of sharing our stories with each other I got the e-mail from Traci that I had been waiting for for forever. Traci FINALLY was getting her little girl....a little girl from China. I read the e-mail and immediately picked up the phone to call her. After all of the years of fertility ups and downs we shared, we never really talked about names...but...if Chris and I were ever blessed with a little girl, her name was ALWAYS going to be Caitlin. The most amazing thing about Traci's e-mail was that this little girl she was getting ready to welcome into her house was also going to be named Caitlin. "Lin" was her last name in China and they thought turning it into Caitlin was just perfect. I agree. I can't think of a better name for her. I cried when I told Traci that story and I told her that if ANYONE was going to be blessed with a Caitlin; I was SO happy it was going to be her.

Well, this weekend, I went down with Traci's brothers and parents to meet Caitlin for the first time....what an amazing weekend. I caught myself just looking at her all weekend with such happiness and with such an overwhelming feeling of what a blessing she is to ALL of us.

All weekend I looked at my cousins and all of their amazing kids. I looked at my kids playing with them...Connor taking care of Caitlin...feeding her, rubbing her head, talking to her in this sweet loving voice. WOW. I am SO FREAKING BLESSED. Really. Words can't express the love I have for Chris, the boys, and all of my family.

So on to the moral of this story....I got SO caught up in the happiness that yesterday I didn't take my 365 picture. As I was driving home, I knew it, but for some reason in my heart it was okay....there was this calm....I just knew it was time to stop. I just spent a weekend with family and these amazing group of kids and it reminded me what life is about. My 365 day project took up a lot of time...time I didn't have and time I KNOW I can't get back. My kids don't need a book of their mother doing silly things when they are 30. Sure it tells my story...sure it will make them laugh just like it has all of you. But, my kids need ME.

I didn't talk with anyone about it at all, not even Chris. And guess what? It feels SO good. So, here it ends. With a picture of me with a little girl that reminded me what life is ALL about. I have been so blessed...with love, with two amazing boys, with an awesome husband, an incredible family and the the most amazing friends I could have ever have asked for.. Thanks for all of the support with this project....I can't believe I actually made it 100 days!! Anyway....Here's to more time with all of you! CHEERS. :)