I have not been home ALL weekend. Yesterday morning I worked at the run/walk and then went to a bridal shower. We came home for a few hours and then went to dinner with family in from out of town.
This morning I got up at my usual 6 am with intentions of walking 15 miles today since I didn't get a training walk in yesterday at all. As I was walking out the door I said my goodbyes to Connor and got back "You are ALWAYS gone. You are always walking. You are never here. I hate this walk....I can't wait until it is over with."
Wow.
That hit me like a ton of bricks. It is the hardest part about doing a walk like this...the time that it takes away from your family seems endless.
It really breaks my heart though....because...Connor is right. For TWO years I have dedicated my heart and soul to my walk efforts and have not been the best Mom. I haven't. What Connor said this morning is what I didn't want to hear, but needed to hear.
So on mile 11 this morning I broke away from the rest of my team and walked home to spend some time with the boys. I walked all the way home....and....they were not even here. I tried calling Chris and he didn't answer. My heart broke even more...
So I walked back to the school to get my car which I had driven there to start the walk. I drove home and they were still not home. So I waited.
When they got home we went and practiced baseball for a while up at the school...I didn't shower...my legs and feel were killing me..but I didn't care. I needed to spend that time with them.
We came home and sat as a family in the front yard for a while...had a glass of wine...and just enjoyed each other.
In 40 days the walk will be over with. I have NOT been the best Mom because of the walk, but I can tell you one thing....doing the walk has taught me so much life...and although I have not been around as much as I should have been, I am a BETTER Mom because of my experiences over the last 2 years.
I hope that they learn the value of what I have done and the power of volunteering....Mommy will be home more soon!! 40 more days! :)
This morning I got up at my usual 6 am with intentions of walking 15 miles today since I didn't get a training walk in yesterday at all. As I was walking out the door I said my goodbyes to Connor and got back "You are ALWAYS gone. You are always walking. You are never here. I hate this walk....I can't wait until it is over with."
Wow.
That hit me like a ton of bricks. It is the hardest part about doing a walk like this...the time that it takes away from your family seems endless.
It really breaks my heart though....because...Connor is right. For TWO years I have dedicated my heart and soul to my walk efforts and have not been the best Mom. I haven't. What Connor said this morning is what I didn't want to hear, but needed to hear.
So on mile 11 this morning I broke away from the rest of my team and walked home to spend some time with the boys. I walked all the way home....and....they were not even here. I tried calling Chris and he didn't answer. My heart broke even more...
So I walked back to the school to get my car which I had driven there to start the walk. I drove home and they were still not home. So I waited.
When they got home we went and practiced baseball for a while up at the school...I didn't shower...my legs and feel were killing me..but I didn't care. I needed to spend that time with them.
We came home and sat as a family in the front yard for a while...had a glass of wine...and just enjoyed each other.
In 40 days the walk will be over with. I have NOT been the best Mom because of the walk, but I can tell you one thing....doing the walk has taught me so much life...and although I have not been around as much as I should have been, I am a BETTER Mom because of my experiences over the last 2 years.
I hope that they learn the value of what I have done and the power of volunteering....Mommy will be home more soon!! 40 more days! :)
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2 comments:
Is there any way they could come along with you on their bikes? Then you'd have best of both!
Ooooooh, how I remember that feeling. It sucks. It really does. And I had the same problem with Grant while training for my second 3-Day. He was about six or seven at the time. He hated how much time I spent training. So I sat him down and explained exactly why I was doing the walk. And you know what? He got it. He even started bragging to people about his mom being this awesome person who is walking all of these miles and raising all of this money to help fight breast cancer. He still does!
So don't fret too much. Even if your boys don't "get it" right now, they will. At some point they are going to think about it and say "Wow. My mom is pretty awesome for having done that. I'm so proud of her." You are setting such a good example for them, even if it means spending some extra time away. You are showing them how to be committed to something important, and how to make a difference. That's a very important lesson these days.
And even though it won't mean as much coming from me instead of your family, I am proud of you and you are awesome. :)
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