Happy 7th Birthday CJ!

jump, originally uploaded by cjconmom.

I am not sure how it all happened. As much as I try to understand it I can't.

7 years ago today I gave birth to the little boy who completed me in more ways then I ever imagined.

Through all of the past crazy week I have been remembering the days before I had him. My due date was May 23rd. I was a mess. It was my first and I had no idea what to expect. On my due date I ripped up an entire garden in our house, before the sun even came up. I went to appointment after appointment where I was convinced CJ's feet were in my mouth he was so big. On May 29th, I decided that I would being "props" to help them understand just how big CJ was going to be and Chris came with me to my last appointment. They decided to induce me as soon as they saw him.

I remember the quiet ride to the hospital when both of us were so nervous neither of us knew what to say. I remember checking in, the 1000 and one questions, the contractions....all like they were yesterday.

I remember the car ride home, driving 30 mph all the way home, as I sat in the back seat just looking at him in his car seat not yet believing he was actually MINE. I remember exactly what he was wearing...the blue stripped sleeper covered in every blanket I think everyone gave me before I had him with the matching "Bring me Home" hat from Old Navy that even as a 0-3 months, he was swimming in it.

I remember those first few nights wondering how I was going to make it through them. I remember thinking as much as everyone told me about being a mother, nothing can compare you to those first few weeks. I remember walking into his room even when he was sleeping 100 times a day just to make sure he was still in there and his chest was still going up and down with every breath. He couldn't be mine....I was convinced he was only on loan..

He was amazing. After all of my fertility issues, I now know just what a miracle CJ really is.

Today, he turns 7. He no longer needs a car seat. He reads. He writes. He tells me he loves me 10 times a day. I am not sure how it happened. 7 years ago I gave birth to a miracle and today is the most loving, caring, passionate and intelligent little boy I know.

Yesterday as I dropped him off at school after his appointment I stayed for an assembly for a few minutes and walked him back to his classroom with all of his classmates. He held my hand the entire way down the hall and I did everything in my power to hold back the tears because even at 7 he loves me so much he is not embarrassed to hold my hand and kiss me goodbye when I leave.

Anyway, it has been the best 7 years of my life and I am so proud to call CJ mine. I don't know where the time went. I always say that I wish I had slowed down to enjoyed it more. It all went by WAY too fast.

Happy 7th Birthday CJ!!