.progress.

.progress., originally uploaded by {kristin W.}.

I had Connor's parent teacher conference for pre-k on Monday and just as I expected he took a few steps back on some behavioral stuff and took a few steps forward academically.

I came so close a couple of times in the middle of the conference from just starting to cry. I know each time it will get easier, but it is so hard hearing stuff bad about your kids all of the time. The daily notes home, the conferences, the e-mails...I know that it doesn't happen ALL of the time, I know Connor isn't really "that" bad, but it is still so hard for me. Why? Because I love him so much.

I have always said that a child's behavior is a direct reflection of what IS or IS NOT going on in the home.

It all came clear to me last week during his graduation from his preschool what Connor's problem is....and honestly, I blame no one other then myself.

What Connor needs it love, attention, strength and affection. He got that from the two amazing teachers he had for preschool 3 days a week at St. John's in the morning.



They hugged him everyday when he walked in the door. When he was sad they hugged him. When he needed attention, they gave it to him. When he graduated last week....they cried. Why? Because they genuinely LOVE these kids like their own. It is a private school and they can do all of that there. Well, guess what? He didn't have the behavioral issues there like he does in the afternoon at Victor pre-k.

Connor needs that love and attention at home too. I didn't give it to him this year. He is home with me all day long. He needs it from me, but I work. At night I catch up around the house. On the weekends I work photo shoots. Let's call a spade a spade, but after much reflection of this I draw one conclusion...as his mother, the person he needs most, I failed Connor.

What is so different about the morning school and the afternoon school? It is a public school. Hugs? Okay. Anything more then that? Not acceptable.

The truth of the matter is that life is not filled with hugs and kisses all of the time. I just think that if I had more time, wasn't so over scheduled and a better ability to give him more attention and nurturing at home instead of having to work all of the time Connor's behavioral issues would be very different.

I just hope and pray that next year things will be better for him. Mrs. Condidorio has been amazing this year, and I hope that next year he is placed with a teacher that will nurture and challenge him all at the same time. It isn't easy.

Anyway, look how much progress he made with his self-portrait! It is so great to see this....academically his is doing an amazing job. I can't wait to see him start reading next year! He is an amazing little boy filled with lots of love. I can't change the past, but I can make sure his future is filled with more brighter days! :)